home

I’m home.  Spent 3 days straight with my extended family - all 25 of them.  Yeah, it was nice, but a bit much.  Random things I have learned:

• My uncle lived a very full life and touched a lot of people.  Alhamdulilah. 
• My dad was crazy in college.  Real crazy.  Lampshade on head crazy.
• Life on the farm was hard.  Ok, I theoretically knew that before, but hearing the stories about growing up on the farm, man, it was tough.
• My dad and his brothers performed science experiments on the barn cats when they were little, such as: how high up does a cat have to be dropped from before it can land on it’s feet?  Boo.
• There is such a job as elephant floor salesman.  That’s what my dad and uncle’s college roommate does for a living.  He sells floors for elephants.
• My dad and my uncle roomed together in college.  They had a very poor sense of hygiene.
• My dad and his siblings are horrible at Taboo.  I, on the other hand, rock.
• The Sunday after Thanksgiving is the worst day to travel.  It took me an hour and a half longer than it normally does to drive between Madison and Minnesota.  The last 19 miles along 94 to the Minnesota border were bumper to bumper traffic.
• My grandmother will never get over my hijab.  She asks me the same questions about it every time I see her. 
• Speaking of hijab, my aunt thinks my hijab is stupid.  Well, she can bite me.
• Madcat is my new favorite pet store.  Too bad it’s in Madison.  They feed their store kitty evo wet food, and OMGosh, she was soooo soft.
• Left over veggie fajita fillings make a good omelet the morning after.
• There are lots of good wet cat foods out there.  I got probably 10 different brands, 20 different flavors.  I also have 3 varieties of dry food: Innova, Origen and Solid Gold.   I figure I’ll see what kitty likes best and get more of that.
•  My kitty is going to be so spoiled.
• Speaking of kitty, my husband is weird.  He asked me this morning if I could sew some clothes for the cat.  Yeah, I can’t sew.  Apparently, he wants to take the cat outside in the winter.  Um, yeah.
• The american paper industry is in dire straights.  My dad, 2 of his brothers and 2 of my aunts are/were all in the paper industry.  Many of the people who came to the funeral were paper people.  My brother is going to be a chemical engineer who specializes in paper, just like my dad.  Every time my dad introduced my brother and said what he was studying, the person groaned, rolled their eyes and urged him to get the heck out while he still can.
• Unsloppy joes are the awesome.  It’s my new favorite recipe.  I made it for my grandma and my sister this weekend, and when my aunt and her boyfriend stopped over, they tried it too.  They all had to have the recipe.

And now, on with life.  We’re into Dhull-Hijja.  Eid is potentially next Monday.  I haven’t had a chance to see if there’s squabbling about the date yet, so I’m not sure.  inshaAllah we’re getting a kitty next weekend.  Alhamdulilah.

prayer

In place of a eulogy, my aunt has asked the family to write some of their memories of my uncle for the pastor to read.  Here are my thoughts.  inshaAllah I’ll polish them later:

Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday, due in large part to the gathering Uncle Jeff and Aunt Pat hosted every year.  The entire family gathers, and those who can’t make it are sure to phone in and say hello.  A veritable feast is laid out and we all partake.  Inevitably, talk will turn to politics, and the banter will increase as we sit, stuffed to the gills.

But out of all the hustle and bustle of the day, a bright light stands out: Uncle Jeff’s prayer.  He must have taken such thought to write them out, taking care to include all the people gathered.  Here, insert something about this year - my sister and I think that he wrote one that someone will read.  If he didn’t, write about how I missed it.  Thank you Uncle Jeff, for your beautiful prayers.

funeral

Looks like we’ll be having a funeral instead of thanksgiving this year.  My uncle passed away last night.  My aunt is determined to still have thanksgiving at their house with everyone, but man, that’s tough.

inna lillahi wa inna ilayhi raji’oon - to God we belong and to Him is our return

thank you

To my Grandpa, who served in World War 2 in the South Pacific…

to my Great Grandfather, who earned his US citizenship fighting in World War 1…

and to a Great Great Great Grandfather, who died for the North in the Civil War…

…this country isn’t perfect.  But it is a great place to live.  Thank you for keeping it safe.

thanksgiving

My uncle was diagnosed with stage 4 colon cancer 2 years ago.  Alhamdulilah, Allah (swt) gave him another 2 years.  He and my aunt have had the opportunity to travel the world, and spend time with all their friends and family.  He made it to a few more Packers games, and got to play Trivia in the world’s largest trivia contest two more times.  And we’ve had 2 more family thanksgivings.  My aunt and uncle have hosted a big get together at their house for years.  Everyone from my dad’s side of the family comes.

 After my grandfather passed away earlier this year, we had all been looking forward to getting together under happier circumstances.  Unfortunately, we’re not sure if there’s going to be another thanksgiving at their house this year. 

The cancer is unstoppable, and there’s not much more that can be done.  Please make dua that my uncle will be able to spend one more thanksgiving with us.

bwahaha!

My eeevil plan is working *rubs hands together with glee*    I want a cat.  The husband is waffling on the subject.  He’s agreed that we’ll get one, but just not anytime soon.  I’m tired of waiting.  So I drug him to Petsmart after our anniversary dinner last night.  Many of the big chain pet stores don’t sell cats, but they do foster them for local shelters.  One of the kitties stole my husband’s heart as she melted in my arms. 

Look at that face.  Who could say no to that face? 

The husband said she was just begging to be taken home.  Ah honey, every cat I play with (I visit the kitties at Petsmart often) just begs to be taken home.  He also thought she’d be lonely if we adopted just one, so we’ll have to adopt 2.  Nope, not going to say no to that either :)

Unfortunately, we can’t adopt little Eleanor.  The management at our apartments requires cats to be declawed.  I will not declaw a cat, so we’re looking for one who is already declawed.  inshaAllah Eleanor will go to a good home.  Many thanks to her for gently nudging my husband in the right direction.

One step closer to getting a cat inshaAllah.

gulp

My parents are coming for the weekend.  And for the first time, I’m going to pray with their knowledge.  In the past, I’ve snuck around and prayed when they weren’t paying attention, or just not prayed at all  (astaghfirAllah).

I told them when the various prayer times are, that we’ll have to make our dinner reservations for 7:30, so I have time to pray maghrib before.  That we’ll leave the zoo at 3, so I can get home and pray zuhr and asr at home (no way in heck I’m praying at the zoo alone with them). 

This is uber scary.  I can’t remember ever speaking about God or prayer with my parents.  It’s funny, because one of my first memories is praying daddy’s friend Dale who had AIDS (inna lillahi wa inna ilayhi raji’oon).  But after that, prayer and God were for Sunday.  To openly worship God on another day of the week is just weird. 

I know they won’t understand.  And I’m not going to try to make them understand.  I’ll just make extra dua after each salat that Allah (swt) will open their hearts and give them some understanding.

rnc

I’ve got my sign (peace and love dove) prepped, and my outfit all picked out (my fav FUNdamentalist shirt + my hot green scarf).  Now I’ve just got to steel my nerves.  The RNC is coming to town, and along with it, a massive bunch of protesters  and major trouble.

The police have been conducting raids, arresting potential rabble rousers.   My bus goes by the jail, which is starting to look more like the US Embassy in Cairo than anything one should find in US cities.  I write that because I wanted to post a picture of the fortifications, but couldn’t find any of the jail here.  I thought I could find some of the embassy, but alas, sheikh google has let me down.  Think giant concrete blocks, 10 foot high fences and a corral system, guarded by guys with very large guns.

My grandma asked me last week if I was going to volunteer.  I had to stiffle a snicker.  Sure Grandma, I’m going to be part of the welcoming committee.  I’ll throw on my black abaya, maybe a niqab for good measure and drive out to the airport with a big ol Welcome to Minnesota sign, in hopes that the delegates will take one look at me and turn right back around.

No, my grandma isn’t a republican, she’s just civic minded.  Her boss was the chair of the Republican Party of Wisconsin back in the 50s, so she got dragged into it too.  One of my favorite stories that she tells is of a dinner she went to, where Joseph McCarthy was the guest of honor.  While everyone stood and applauded when he entered, she stayed seated and shot him an evil eye.  Go Grandma!

Monday is D day, potentially the first day of Ramadan, and the march on the RNC.  inshaAllah I’ll get pictures.  The husband will not be joining me.  He’s still a permanent resident, and doesn’t want to risk getting in trouble with the law.  I’m not planning on doing any civil disobedience, and as such, hope not to get arrested, but please make dua that I don’t.   If you see a girl in a neon green hijab being dragged away kicking and screaming, that’s yours truly.

on my walls

My grandfather usually painted from pictures.  His art room was full of newspaper clippings, pages from magazines and photos from family vacations. 

I’m not sure where he got the picture for this painting from.  The papyrus came from my aunt and uncle when they took a trip to egypt.

I chose this picture because of the arabic, although everyone else likes it for the guy on the donkey.

I think this is karnak.  The husband thinks it’s the Elephantine Islands.

The step pyramid in Egypt.  Little did these women know that they would be immortalized in some painting in Wisconsin.  Lots of strangers ended up in my grandfather’s paintings.

My favorite painting.  I think it’s somewhere in Switzerland.  It hangs above the couch in my living room.

a little late

MDs urged to quit prostate screens in elderly men

Screening for Prostate Cancer: U.S. Preventive Services Task Force Recommendation Statement

Harms of Detection and Early Treatment

The USPSTF found convincing evidence that treatment for prostate cancer detected by screening causes moderate-to-substantial harms, such as erectile dysfunction, urinary incontinence, bowel dysfunction, and death. These harms are especially important because some men with prostate cancer who are treated would never have developed symptoms related to cancer during their lifetime. There is also adequate evidence that the screening process produces at least small harms, including pain and discomfort associated with prostate biopsy and psychological effects of false-positive test results.

My grandfather went into the hospital in June due to complications related to prostate cancer screening and treatment.  He never left.  His brother has had prostate cancer for years, hasn’t been treated, and is still alive.

*sigh*